You’re Allowed to Rest: What Jesus Shows Us About Self-Care

For a long time, I thought taking care of my family meant putting myself last.

When my girls were young, I made sure they had what they needed. I thought about their meals, their school days, their schedules, and all the ordinary things that come with raising children. If they needed a healthy lunch packed, I made one. If something needed to be done around the house, I usually took care of that before I considered resting.

What I did not do very well was include myself in all that care.

I could prepare healthy food for my children and then realize I had nothing planned for myself. By the time I became hungry, I was tired and unprepared, so whatever was easiest usually won. Sometimes that meant junk food. Sometimes it meant fast food.

I treated rest the same way. Sitting quietly with my Bible, reading a book, exercising, or simply having a few minutes to think always seemed less important than whatever else needed my attention.

At the time, I did not think of this as neglecting myself.

I thought I was being a good mother.

Now that my children are grown and the house is quiet, I see it very differently.

🌿 Why Do We Feel Guilty About Self-Care?

Something has puzzled me as I have gotten older.

Today I can sit down with my Bible even though there is laundry waiting, and I do not feel guilty about it. I can read a book in the afternoon while something in the house still needs tending to.

Why couldn't I do that when my children were little?

Somewhere along the way, I think I began to associate being responsible with constantly doing something for someone else.

There was always another meal, another errand, another room, another appointment, or another person who needed something.

Rest felt almost irresponsible.

And this is not only a mother's problem.

Fathers experience it. Caregivers experience it. People caring for aging parents experience it. So do grandparents, ministry leaders, business owners, people working demanding jobs, and the person in the family everyone calls when something goes wrong.

We can become so accustomed to meeting other people's needs that our own needs begin to feel selfish.

That is where guilt can quietly interfere with our health.

✝️ What Did Jesus Model About Rest?

When we talk about Christian self-care, we have to be careful with the term.

Christianity is not centered on the self. Jesus calls us to love God, love others, serve, sacrifice, and deny ourselves.

But self-denial and self-neglect are not the same thing.

When I look at the life of Jesus, I do not see someone who responded to every demand around Him without ever stopping.

Luke 5:16 tells us:

“But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.”

That word “often” catches my attention.

Jesus regularly stepped away.

There were people who wanted healing. There were crowds looking for Him. There was ministry waiting. Yet Jesus still made room to withdraw and spend time alone with His Father.

Mark 6:31 gives us another example. Jesus and His disciples had become so busy that Scripture says they did not even have time to eat. Jesus told them:

“Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.”

Jesus recognized hunger and exhaustion as legitimate human needs.

He did not tell His disciples that faithful people simply keep going until they collapse.

Jesus Himself slept when He was tired. Mark 4:38 tells us that He was asleep in the boat after a long day of ministry.

Jesus gave Himself sacrificially, but He did not model constant depletion.

That distinction matters.

🌸 God Made Room for Rest From the Beginning

Rest is not a modern wellness trend.

It appears at the very beginning of Scripture.

Genesis 2:2–3 tells us that God rested after completing creation.

God did not rest because He lacked strength. His rest established a pattern that reminds us there is a time for work and a time to stop.

Yet many of us live as though rest must be earned.

We tell ourselves we will sit down when everything is finished.

But when is everything really finished?

There will usually be another load of laundry, another message, another meal, another appointment, or another responsibility waiting.

If we believe we are only allowed to rest once everyone and everything has been completely taken care of, rest can keep getting pushed aside indefinitely.

🏃‍♀️ I Still Remember the Mother Who Ran

There is one picture from those years that has stayed with me.

In the mornings, when I was driving my girls to school, I often saw another mother from our neighborhood running.

Her children had gotten on the school bus, and she went for her run.

She was in wonderful shape, and it was obvious that taking care of her body was part of her normal routine.

For some reason, I never forgot her.

I think I understand why now.

She had made room for her health.

I had not learned to do that yet.

I do not say that to criticize the younger version of myself. I loved my children and was doing what I thought was best for my family.

But the truth is that health requires some of our attention.

We cannot expect our bodies to become stronger if we never make time to strengthen them. Eating well becomes much harder when we never plan or prepare food for ourselves. Rest rarely appears on its own in an already crowded schedule.

At some point, we have to make room for our health.

🧠 Stress Was Affecting My Health Too

For years, when I thought about losing weight or becoming healthier, I mostly thought about food and exercise.

Eat better. Exercise more. Try harder.

Those things certainly matter, but I understand now that stress and exhaustion were also part of my health story.

Mayo Clinic explains that chronic stress can affect the body in many ways, including sleep difficulties. It also notes that stress can contribute to weight gain because people may eat less healthfully, exercise less regularly, and experience physical changes associated with prolonged stress.

Looking back, that makes a lot of sense to me.

I was trying to make healthy choices while often living tired, stressed, and without much time set aside to think about what I needed.

If I had not prepared lunch, was already hungry, had been taking care of everyone else, and was exhausted, convenience usually won.

Then I would become frustrated with myself because another attempt at getting healthy had failed.

For years I thought I simply needed more discipline.

Now I see that discipline was only one piece of the puzzle.

I needed to care for the whole person.

💛 Christian Health Is About the Whole Person

This is one of the reasons I believe in a Christian holistic approach to health.

God did not create us as disconnected parts.

Our physical health, emotional health, spiritual life, stress, sleep, thoughts, relationships, and daily habits affect one another.

When I am exhausted, my decisions can be affected. When I am under constant stress, my body feels it. When I never give myself quiet time with God, my spiritual life can become rushed and distracted. When I do not plan for my health, I usually end up making decisions based on whatever is easiest at the moment.

Christian holistic health is not about making ourselves the center of our lives.

It is about recognizing that the whole person God created needs care.

And sometimes caring for ourselves helps us become better able to practice the very selflessness Jesus calls us to.

✈️ Why the Oxygen Mask Illustration Makes Sense

Most of us have heard the safety instructions on an airplane.

If the oxygen masks drop, adults are told to put on their own mask before helping a child.

No parent hears that instruction and thinks, “My life is more important than my child's.”

The reason is practical. If the parent loses consciousness, they may no longer be able to help the child beside them.

I think that picture helps explain something about Christian self-care.

There are moments when our care needs to come first, not because everyone else matters less, but because we need enough spiritual, emotional, and physical health to continue serving the people God has entrusted to us.

For one person, that may mean making exercise part of the weekly schedule even when other things could be done during that time. For someone else, it may mean protecting adequate sleep, preparing nutritious food, making a medical appointment that has been postponed, or spending some quiet time with the Lord without feeling guilty because the kitchen is not perfectly clean.

Putting your care first in a particular moment is not the same thing as making yourself first in your life.

That is an important difference.

🌷 Please Don't Turn This Into More Guilt

There is one thing I especially do not want this article to do.

I do not want someone to read it and immediately think, “Great. Here is one more thing I have been doing wrong.”

That is not the message.

Romans 8:1 tells us:

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.”

Most people who continually put themselves last are not deliberately trying to harm their health.

They think they are doing their best.

I was.

I loved my children. I wanted to be a good mother. I simply had not learned that taking care of myself could also be part of taking care of my family.

There is a difference between looking back with wisdom and looking back with condemnation.

I can recognize today that there were things I wish I had understood earlier without beating up the woman I was then.

She was doing the best she knew how to do.

Today I know more.

So today I can make different choices.

🌿 What I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self

If I could sit across the table from the younger version of myself, I would never tell her to care less about her children.

I would tell her that there was room to care for herself too.

I would tell her to make her own lunch while she was preparing theirs and to make exercise part of the family schedule rather than hoping some extra time would magically appear. I would remind her that twenty quiet minutes with God were more important than whether every room in the house was perfectly clean.

I would tell her that feeling tired all the time was worth paying attention to.

Most of all, I would tell her that caring for herself would not have made her a less devoted mother.

I think it might have made her a healthier and more present one.

That is what I wish I had understood much earlier.

Christian self-care is not about worshiping ourselves or arranging our lives around comfort. It is about being responsible with the spiritual, emotional, and physical life God has given us.

Jesus served others sacrificially, but He also prayed, rested, withdrew, ate, slept, and recognized human limitations.

Maybe instead of feeling guilty for needing those things, we can begin seeing them as part of living faithfully well.

🌿 Join the Conversation

I would love to hear from you in the comments below. Have you ever felt guilty for resting, exercising, preparing healthier food for yourself, or simply taking time to be quiet? Has your understanding of Christian self-care changed over the years?

Share what you have learned or what you are still working through. Someone reading your comment may be struggling with the very same thing, and your experience could help them see that caring for themselves does not have to mean caring less for others.

For more practical, Scripture-centered encouragement for caring for your spirit, mind, and body, visit HisWordsMinistry.com.

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